Timid men need not apply. Women agree on this.
My interaction with a couple girls on Saturday was very rich and metatextual. A lot happened that was very instructional. I am writing up all of the interesting parts in pieces, to extract the juicy information out of it.
I was on the balcony of Medjool, overlooking the dance floor, talking to a cute girl in a hat, and she talked about the different ways that men approach women. “We [women] don’t like timid men. We can tell when a man is timid, and it kills it.”
She told me that was why she liked me, I didn’t hesitate to come over to her and her friend and see what was going on, meet them, and flirt with them. I knew what I was doing, and I knew how I was going to approach them, how I was going to start the conversation, and felt good about my ability to talk to them and join their group.
It was coincidental that this was in the middle of an Art of Attraction workshop, an entire workshop devoted to making sure men aren’t timid. It sure as hell isn’t the time for me to be timid myself.
It was nice to hear from a woman that what I teach is, you know, right.
Recognizing Timidness
Timidness is the almost the complete opposite of confidence. Confidence is being sure and comfortable with what you are doing, not hesitating, and enjoying yourself.
A timid man is cautious, nervous, hesitant, and waits for permission, or a good reaction, before going on with what he is doing. A timid man doesn’t take risks, and doesn’t do anything to put himself on the spot.
I’ve noticed that the biggest reason that men are timid when approaching a woman is the fact that they are waiting to see how they will react. They are waiting for a good reaction before continuing the interaction.
Timid men want a good reaction before committing to an interaction. They are waiting for permission to join a group of women before they really open up and express them self.
The odd thing about this though, is that by being timid, the chances of being accepted by, and receiving a warm response from a group of women will go down drastically.
“Any woman wants a confident man.”
Women respond to your confidence.
Women always seem to give the same answers when they ask what they are attracted to in a man. They like a man who can just be himself, who can make her laugh, and above all, is confident.
Confidence is one of those things in life that, like all important things, is very simple, yet can be very difficult to put into actual practice.
Here are some of the things that display that a man is confident when he approaches a group.
- He does not fidget when he walks, and when he stands next to the women
- He makes eye contact with the women, and does not get nervous and look away when they give eye contact back
- He talks slowly and calmly
- He does not seek their approval before proceeding to talk to them
- He smiles and enjoys the time he is spending with the women
- He is sure of how he is going to approach, and says what he has to say without hesitation
This is just a partial list, but these are some of the things that women see that indicate if a man is confident about what he is doing or not.
There is no downside to confidence.
As men, we really have very little to lose by approaching some women and starting to talk to them. The worst that can happen is that they turn us down, or aren’t interested in meeting us. It may not exactly feel that way when we aren’t used to approaching women often, but this is true, objectively.
There is nothing to lose by being confident. If you have decided to approach a woman, it will not go worse by approaching more confidently. It can only make things go better, and kick off things with a woman better.
On the flipside, being timid can only make the woman’s reaction worse. Being timid when approaching a woman will not make her like you more, and it will not make a better first impression.
We teach confident behavior and how to confidently approach a woman at the Art of Attraction workshop. The workshop is three days, spending days and evenings in a classroom to learn, and more importantly, practice the skills that make you more confident. We spend two nights out on the town, meeting and talking to women, and working with our coaches to put the new skills into practice.
The workshop is an investment in your future, your relationships, and in the confidence that you feel every day.
Please feel free to click right here and read more about it on the PickUp 101 website.
This workshop will knock the timid right out of you, and women will thank you for that.
