You’ve definitely seen it.
The guys that posture in the bar, trying to look tough, or sexy, trying to get the attention of women.
You’ve probably done it. When there is a hot woman around, you suck in your gut, stand up a little more, maybe talk a little louder. You’re posturing.
“Posturing” can be a dirty word amongst some dating and mating advisers. It is seen as being something you aren’t, you are pretending to be something, and you are not being yourself.
I was hanging out with DC, THM, and DBR the other night, and DC brought up posturing. We talked about how some people would say you aren’t being authentic when you posture, however, we have seen guys that go into bars, do this, and get chicks.
So, uh, what’s going on?
All animals posture, from little lizards to babboons, to us. Animals posture when they are attracting a mate, or when they are intimidating a rival. Posturing is a sign of being ready. Someone posturing is ready to mate, or ready to fight.
Well, if you are ready to do these things, then it really isn’t so bad, is it? You are just communicating to the world this fact.
The problem comes in when you aren’t actually ready.
If you are posturing in this way, projecting to women that you are ready for romance (so to say), women will have that expectation of you. If you and a woman start interacting, and your actions don’t jive with this, she will know you were “just posturing”. You didn’t mean it, and you didn’t have the goods to back it up.
When you aren’t actually serious, that is when you are “posturing” in the negative sense that the word is being used. In that case you are something about yourself that actually isn’t true. Not good.
If you are going to posture, just make sure you mean it.