Tag Archives: The Pickup Artist

The Pickup Artist, Episode 6

The first part of this episode consisted of women showing off their lingerie.

What more do I have to say?  This part was good.

The challenge, to bounce a girl to another venue, was just kind of so so.

I love how clueless Pradeep is.  He exhibited this over and over, and it finally caught up with him.

I really wasn’t too excited by this episode, if you can’t tell by how little I wrote here.

Except for the lingerie, that is.

The Pickup Artist, Episode 5

All right! Big fat Joe won the challenge!

This actually points out something really interesting. The challenge was to see who would seem the most comfortable wearing a speedo at a pool party with a bunch of hot women. Big Joe held court. What this points out is that you don’t have to be a body builder to have a lot of physical presence. Big guys like Joe (and me) can hold people’s attention be the alpha guy very easily because of their size.

The big lesson from this part is that the more comfortable you are with your body, the more attractive you will be. You’ve got what you’ve got, now flaunt it, and own it.

Pradeep exposed himself as the whiny, self absorbed, delusional guy that he is. When they were announcing the winner of the pool part contest, Mystery said one guy clearly stood above the rest. While everyone else was saying, “definitely, it was Joe”, Pradeep was standing there raising his hands like it should have been him.

There’s just something off about the dude, and I think it is arrogance. It is unattractive, and not a good way to make people like you.

The daygame portion of the show at a coffee shop felt like a farce. It felt needlessly complicated, and just… off.

Maybe this is because I am comparing it with my own daygame workshop, the Art of Rapport. I was teaching it all weekend. Me and four of my coaches taught 7 guys how to approach women during the day, get numbers, and get dates. You know what, they were able to do it too. After an evening of exercises to learn how to build rapport, followed by a few hours the next morning practicing how to approach women during the day, they went out to Union Square, met tons of women, got their numbers, and so on and so on.

It wasn’t as complicated as it seemed on this show. Walk up, get her attention, make her laugh by flirting with her, then get to know her. It’s as easy as 1, 2, 3.

I’m sure that Mystery’s techniques work, or he wouldn’t be teaching them. It just seems to me that during the day, it really is so much easier than you may think.

The Pickup Artist, Episode 4

I was bored by this episode. Maybe it was because I was watching it on my iPod while stuck in traffic going over to my buddies house in the East Bay during rush hour, maybe it was just not as exciting as past episodes. This post is as proportionally short as I was excited about this episode.

Neat. They got to kiss a girl. They did make a really good point though: Kissing Is Important.

I have gone out with girls because they were good kissers, and I have been turned off by girls that were bad kissers. It is a very important skill. Watch the episode to learn more, they actually did a pretty good job of teaching this. It was sexy and fun too.

I was disappointed by the elimination. Scott was working really hard to learn this stuff, and he was showing some improvement. He was very eager, and really wanted it. Granted, he isn’t that socially savvy, but he can learn that. I hope he continued on this path after the show was over.

I can see why they kept Pradeep (sp?), because he acts like a prick, and this creates drama, which makes the show more exciting, which means better ratings. Mystery made the right decision for the success of his show.

Sorry, Scott. You’ve got to be more dramatic. Your good nature and positive attitude won’t get you ahead in this world.

The Pickup Artist, Episode 3

The Third episode of The Pickup Artist was on a couple nights ago. They had to learn and apply stories and threads with DHV spikes in them. A DHV is a “Demonstration of High Value”, or some such thing. I personally never think about that or try to incorporate that idea into my shtick, but then again, I don’t do pretty much anything from Mystery’s method. The show still entertains though. I loved that they made the guys talk to the little girls to practice storytelling. That seemed like a fun exercise. This episode pointed something out to me though, which is the art of storytelling.


I’m not a great storyteller. As far as the basic “pickup” skills go, that is the one I am least skilled in. I can do it, and I have, but I never really on it or fall back on it. I tend to tell more stories to build rapport and connection with a person, by telling them about my life. Storytelling used to be a part of the Art of Attraction workshop, but we have slowly removed it to replace it with banter, which we have found is both more effective and easier to learn.

A great story can be really captivating. It can keep people entertained, it can draw people to you magnetically, and it can convey lots of great things about you. Storytelling is a skill that I would like to develop. Not really as an attraction tool, but as a life tool. I have a couple ventures under my belt to help develop this.

Now on to a couple comments about some of the guys.


I commented on this guy the last time. What frustrates me about this guy is his inability to change and his inability to learn. He has a great opportunity to learn this material and apply it, and he just doesn’t.

I contrast this with some other older men that I have worked for. I remember one guy in particular. He was in his 40s, tall and decent looking, big presence, but lacked the confidence to meet women. This guy wanted to change, and was willing to do the work. It was hard for him. He was shaking and sweating from nervousness at times, but he never gave up, and he tried everything we taught him. I admire that.

I have no idea what it is like to be 45 years old. I have a couple friends around that age, and I know that things are different. Learning how to be a more attractive man is different, life in general is different. I don’t understand it, because I have never been there, and I won’t for another 15 or so years.

I do know that anyone can make the changes, at any age. The question is, “are you going to let yourself get in the way or not?”

Fred let himself get in the way. I have met plenty of guys that don’t though, and I respect those men for that.


Right now, I admire Scott the most. He is geeky. He is tall and lanky. He has a goofy smile. I would get a long with this guy. Also, he is working his ass off. He is really putting in a lot of effort to learn the material that Mystery is teaching them. He has an opportunity to flip his life around, and really make changes to his social life that he wants, and he is jumping at the opportunity. I hope that he stays on the show for a while.

To me, Scott represents the fact that anybody can get better with women if they put in some effort and are willing to make some changes to their behavior. More importantly, Scott represents the facts that geeks and dorks can do this.

Thank goodness.

The Pickup Artist, Episodes 1 and 2

I admit it. I got wrapped up in a reality TV show. I have been watching The Pickup Artist on VH1. Well, actually I have been watching it on iTunes because I don’t have a TV, but same difference.

It is interesting to me for a couple reasons. I teach guys how to “pick up” girls, so I can claim that it is professional interest. Also, I have worked with a lot of guys like these guys on this show. They are good guys that have a lot to give to a woman. Some are really dorky, sure, but hey so are some of the best of us. It is also interesting because I have met Mystery. It was really brief, but I met him at a talk he gave at Project San Francisco a couple years ago.

Mostly it is just an exciting drama, like most reality TV. I got the sense from my buddy Niels (who was on Beauty and the Geek) that there is a bit more “TV” than “reality” in reality TV. Some people I know have complained that it is too bad they have to eliminate a guy each week, because they all need the training, and it is true. They gotta kick someone off though for the tension and drama blah blah blah.

There are a couple lessons from a couple of these guys.


Spoon was the young kid who was really nervous. He was also the one that wanted to be sent home during the first elimination. The sad thing is that he had the potential in him to do just fine. Talking to women became really emotionally hard for him. His internal resistance to making this change was huge. This points out a huge truth.

It can be incredibly hard to make this change.

You have to confront your own anxiety, discomfort, and nervousness. He knows the changes he has to make, but his emotions that he needs to confront to do it are too big.

I hope he does make the changes that he wants for himself.


Fred is the 45 year old virgin. He is reluctant to accept the teachings of Mystery. He seems stuck in his way. He is so stuck, that he won’t try new things. What is worse is that he makes “logical excuses” about why he doesn’t want to use the teachings of Mystery. He says he wants to be spontaneous, and that canned material makes him feel fake. I have an argument that his “real” self is just as fake, it is just the persona he is comfortable with.

He seems like the kind of guy that has found the routine that he is comfortable with, and even if that routine doesn’t work, he will stick with it.

He needs to take a risk to act outside of his normal routine, adn to have the humility to admit to himself that his current routine just isn’t working.

I hope all these guys the best, and hope they all make huge improvements to their life.