Category Archives: How to Meet Women and be a fantastic Flirt

All about approaching women, starting conversations, flirting with them, and sparking chemistry.

Overdoing It

Talk to the HAND!

So you see some girls in the bar. You walk up to flirt with them.  They ask some question… “Oh my god! You guys are like inquisitive little investigators! You are like ninja investigators that strike out to find the answers you want! I am totally gonna hire you as my ninja assassin strike team and you will be sent into old ladies houses for me to steal their fresh-baked cookies! You are gonna be blue ninja, and you are gonna be pink ninja… but YOU… YOU get to be the argyle ninja because you are the deadliest. Yeah, your outfit is going to be one giant argyle sock with a little slit cut in it for your eyes.”

Wait, where are they going?

“Guys?..”

“guys?..”

“I didn’t… overgame you… did I?”

Overgaming is when you do (or overdo) something and it is kind of weird.

Take the above example. That was a WHOLE lot of playful banter. Say, for the sake of argument, that I unloaded that clip of banter, machine gun style, into a group of women. I would hope they would start laughing and giggling and pawing at me, but if I kept it up they might start to think “well, this is fun and silly, and it makes me laugh, but this guy is kind of weird because all he does is stand there and say all these goofy things to us without stopping”.

What is really going on here is that I am bantering AT them, rather than bantering WITH them, and that is why they give me the “overgamed” response in this hypothetical little situation. You can banter AT a girl for a second, but you better get into a conversation WITH her right after that. A conversation with a girl goes by many names, but we usually refer to it as “vibing” or “rapport”. It can also be banter, but it better be banter with a girl, rather than at her.

I have had banter conversations that go on for a good half hour. The reason that these conversations didn’t end up as overgaming was that we were bantering together. We ended up playing a game that everyone was joining in on. Remember, when banter is really working, it is a two way street. If you are out at a party or something like that it is OK to banter with people a lot. You DON’T want to just hose them down with banter though, because then they will be all soggy. You want to kind of bat the birdie back and forth with banter.

NOTE: This post is a modified version to a response to a question on the PickUp Lounge, the PickUp 101 VIP discussion board.

I Bet On My Students

Last night I was at a favorite Wednesday hotspot with K and fellow instructor Walter. K works in the Pickup 101 office, and he has been through our workshops. In fact, he was my student on the second night of his Art of Attraction workshop. This was the night that he got lap dances from a group of 10 women. Suffice to say, the boy knows what he is doing.

So we were having a hang out night, just chatting and flirting with the occasional group of girls. We all go out so that K and I can smoke a cigarette, and he asks me and Walter, “so what do you do when a girl is on her phone?” We look over, and there is a cute asian girl on the phone 10 or 15 feet away from us. So we tell him.

He is reluctant to proceed with the directions we gave him. She gets off the phone, and his opportunity is presenting itself. Still he doesn’t go. This is when I grabbed him, and literally pushed him into a conversation with her. She looks up, alarmed, staring at us. I tell her, “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to alarm you”, and I left to hang with Walter, leaving K to start a conversation. I leave as he is saying, “My friend wanted me to come tell you that…”

I found out after the fact that what he said was, “My friend wanted me to come tell you that you are really cute. Actually… it was ME that wanted to tell you that.” I imagine that this was just about the time that she erupted in smiles and giggles. They were talking for a few minutes when I saw the hands. You can tell a lot about how two people feel about each other by the way their hands touch. She high fived him, and their hands stayed together, and their fingers lingered across each others as their hands parted.

It was on.

At this time, Walter said something along the lines that he didn’t think it was going anywhere. I called BS, so we made a friendly bet. I bet Walter that he would get her phone number. Loser had to buy the other a drink next Wednesday. I’ll take that bet. I know what I saw. Besides, he was MY student. I believed in him.

After a few minutes of flirting, he came back. Without her number. I told him to get his @ss over there and GET HER NUMBER. He walked back over, flirted a little more, his phone is out…

He walks back to us five minutes later, and he is saying, “OK, I’ll call you…” as he is leaving. He got the number.

I got my drink.

Life is good.

As for me, yes, I flirted with the two cutest blondes I saw that night. Good wholesome fun :)

Flirt Everywhere

(This one is for you, V)

It is important to be ready to flirt with anyone, anytime, anywhere. When I know that I am ready to flirt with a girl at a moments notice, I feel on top of the world. Electrified.

This is a little anecdote from last week. I was talking to one of my coaching clients, and I challenged him to approach a girl everyday with with the simple as syrup, “you’re cute”. I told him I would do it the next day too, so I headed out on my lunch break ready to flirt with some lucky woman.

After walking around, getting lunch, then walking around some more, I was getting disappointing, because I was really just not seeing any really cute women to flirt with.

Then I saw this adorable blonde in the Metreon. She was working at one of those little booths, selling a nail polish device or something. I walk up to her, she says, “Come here, I have something to show you”.

Immediately I replied, “You are way too cute to be selling me this. How about we just flirt together for the next few minutes?”

She giggled, I kept bantering, I vibed for a few minutes, but then she had to get back to work.

This interaction didn’t end up in a number, or a date, but that is OK. Flirting like that gets the blood flowing, gets your endorphins pumped, and makes you feel great.

Go out and flirt! Now!

GotD Day 4 – 7: YEEEAAARGH!

FRI through MON – YEEEAAARGH! So friday, I was waiting till field work at night in the Marina to turn on the radar. I saw her late at night as I was talking to my students, she was walking up the street right outside the Matrix. I didn’t abandon my students, so I got a NO.

Saturday at Medjool, I saw her on the second floor balcony. Her and her two friends. Perfect. I opened, my students came in, we all talked to the girls for a bit. I have a tendency to stick to banter and vibing when I am coaching, because I want to demonstrate the skills that the students are learning all weekend, not just let them see me quietly talking to a girl for 10 or 15 minutes. Oh, well. I still get a YES

Sunday in the workshop, the hottest women I saw all day were the three women that came to the workshop for girl practice, and they don’t count due to professionalism. NO.

Monday, I was incredibly worn out from the long weekend of workshop, and bringing a TON of energy to it, moreso than is natural for me to have. I didn’t see much, I can’t even remember who the hottest girl was. I get a NO.

My record for the first week is 3/7. 43%. Pathetic. Time to change that record this week.

FR: Time To Hit The Sac

I was shipped up to Sacramento for my day job, so I gave my buddies (and fellow coaches) Eric and Jeremy a call so we could hit the town on a wild Tuesday!

We meet up and head to a nice mexican restaurant, we sit outside on the patio. Next to a table of cute girls. So of course, I start flirting with them. I just slide my seat back till I am near them and rip off some banter. Our waitress shows up, and Eric and Jeremy are flirting with her. It was quite an extravaganza!

Highlight: at one time, I took a big bite of my big jalapeno pepper, and my mouth starts to BURN. Our waitress comes by, so I ask for some water as I wipe away tears. Continue reading