Category Archives: Life and Style choices for the Sexy Man

These posts are about the other things about you that make you a catch. How does a sexy man live? How does he dress? What does he do?

How to Be the Geek of Her Dreams

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I think that every guy who has some dorky habits dreams of finding the perfect woman, beautiful, fun, loving, and loves all of our geeky habits. She reads Spider-Man comics, loves anime, has a Slave Leia outfit, and may or may not speak Klingon (at least a few words).

I actually do have a friend who has found himself the perfect geek woman. One of the stops on their honeymoon was to a comic book convention, he had a Green Lantern ring made of Amethyst and Diamonds for Valentine’s Day, and they can actually use both the sentence, “we talked about Star Trek: Deep Space Nine for an hour”, and “we weren’t expecting things to go so well” to describe their first date.

I am very happy for them, and they are very happy together.

It is pretty rare though for a man to find a woman who shares his love for all things geek.

Have you been to a comic book convention? The guy to girl ratio is pretty darn high. It is not a place to go to have good chances of finding love. I hear Star Trek and Sci-Fi conventions are even worse (I’ve never been to one – honest!)

Most of the time, the geeky guy ends up dating a less geeky woman, just as a result of numbers. And that’s great! I’ve never dated a woman that was really into any dorky stuff. One of them said she really liked Star Trek, but she never really acted on it. She may have just been trying to impress me..

So now you’ve got a girlfriend, or a woman you are dating, because you have followed all my other awesome advice on this blog, and you are wondering how you can share your love of all things geek with her.

It makes sense, after all. I love comics. I really really love comics. I think the medium is incredibly fun, amazing, and has incredible potential for storytelling and communication. I also just love geeky comics of Batman kicking butt (or just making drawings on the walls of caves way back in time, as he seems to be doing now).

Of course I would love to share my love of this with a woman. It’s important to me.

But then again, there is reality

I came to a stark conclusion after a few desperate attempts to share with women just why comics are so cool: They don’t care. No matter how much I love comics, that isn’t going to transfer over to her. She’s not ever going to love Star Wars even a tenth as much as I do. It just isn’t going to happen.

An even more important conclusion for me was when I realized that not only was she never going to be really interested in what I like, was when I realized that I was OK with that. I don’t mind that she doesn’t love my geeky stuff. I still enjoy it just as much.

Of course, if she does show an interest, I am prepared to share some stuff with her. I’ll give her a Strangers In Paradise book, Sandman, or Bone, and see how she likes that. If she likes it, I’ll give her more. If she shows any interest in Anime, I’ll watch Totoro with her, or some other Miyazaki film. If she is interested in some Sci-Fi I’ll take her to the latest Star Trek movie, or give her Stranger in a Strange Land to read. I’ll test the waters to see if she groks it. What I won’t do is overwhelm her with the stuff I love, or put any pressure on her to try it out.

Maybe she won’t ever be interested though. That is fine. I actually am not too interested in dating a woman that likes comics or Star Wars. I like having my own hobbies and interests. I’ve found ways to allow that side of me, those geeky hobbies, to flourish, without the need to share them with the women I date.

For one, I do them on my own time. I would never sit around and read a comic when spending time with a woman, or when she comes over to hang out. I enjoy my time with her, and leave the geeky stuff for my own time.

Also, I have found like minded guys who also love the stuff I love. I get to share this with them. I’ve got a decent group of comic geeks that I know in my area. Every now and then we will get together for a day, maybe go on a crawl to a bunch of comic shops, or go see some geeky movie, like we did when Wolverine: Origins came out in the theater. I got to really relish in my geekiness, without the need to share it with any women.

Keep it in perspective

back in college, my girlfriend was talking about some of the guys in her dorm building, and how disgusting she thought it was that they just played video games all the time. They just wasted their time on silly games.

What I didn’t tell her was that I wished I could just play video games all the time.

What women want is a man that has passions and inspiration in his life, and works to do and achieve stuff in line with those passions. It is one of those qualities of a man that is almost universally attractive. It goes back to the saying that the best way to meet women is to have something better to do than to meet women.

This goes back to the second post in this series about dating for dorks, when I wrote about having other things in your life besides your geekeries. If all you do with your time is read comics, or play video games, or perfect your Klingon fighting technique and language pronunciation, then yes, you may have a hard time finding a woman who finds that attractive. When it is just a small part of the overall picture, then you are in good shape.

Sometimes, at the end of the week, I want nothing more than to hop on my Xbox 360 and play Call of Duty with some friends and decompress from a week of working. I don’t do that every night though, nor would I want to. Nor would my women want me to either.

When you’ve got the rest of your life under control, then spending your extra time on your geekery of choice is no big deal. Better yet, you can do what my friend Dave does, and align his passions with his geekeries. Read his web comic, Space-Time Condominium. Dave is a geek at heart, but his passions are in making and drawing comics. He does both, and it shows in what he does and how he behaves. Plus, I mention him because he is an amazing wingman.

Don’t stop loving your geeky stuff, just find the time to love it, and don’t push it on the women in your life. Live and let live.

Coming up in the next post: I have no idea what.

Your Attitude Will Create Her Attitude

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Dating for Dorks continues. See the last couple posts for more on this subject.

Often times, us dorks think that we have to hide our nerdiness from women.

If we could, we would put all our toys, video games, comics, DVDs and D&D books away in some iron clad chamber where they would never be found.

For the non-geeky reading this, I want you to understand what it feels like.

Believe it or not, most people think geeks are lame

The stereotypes of people that like geeky stuff are pretty bad. Imagine comic book guy from the Simpsons, or a D&D nerd, or some weird kid that watches too much anime.

The thing is, geeky fanaticism for comics or star trek is just as geeky as going to a football game, dressing up in your team’s colors, and playing fantasy football. It is the same as a woman getting dressed up with her friends in dresses and heels, going to watch the Sex and the City movie and drink Cosmos.

D&D and Star Trek get looked down on by society far more than football and Sarah Jessica Parker do however. Us dorks have years of social retards and [fairly true] stereotypes that helped shape what people think of our hobbies.

All of this can make a guy fairly defensive or cautious with this stuff. I have read threads on comic book discussion forums about guys that were scared to tell their girlfriend that they read comics, and threads asking other people if and how they hide their hobby from people.

The key to making women comfortable

What I have discovered is that women will be just as comfortable with my dorky hobbies as I am. That is really all you need to know.

I’ll expand on this anyway though…

My dorky hobbies are just one part of my life. I have plenty of other stuff going on in my life, as I talked about in my last post. I don’t hide the fact that I have these dorky habits. I tend to keep a couple graphic novels laying around on my coffee table, I’ve got an awesome Batman with a Green Lantern Ring action figure on top of my fridge, a Cobra Commander figure in front of my computer monitor on my desk, and I even still have a copy of Iron Man #128 in my liquor cabinet.

Like I said, I don’t hide it. I don’t, however, flaunt it outrageously. I keep all my comics put away in my closet, along with most of my other stuff. I’ve just got a few of my favorite things out around my apartment, but most of it is put away where it belongs. When a woman walks in to my apartment, she isn’t walking in to Sean’s Amazing Dungeon of Comics and Toys.

Clearly, I’m not hiding all of this stuff from people. I don’t even talk about it unless they ask. If they do, I don’t make a bigger deal of it than it is.

The important thing for her to know isn’t that I am a geek, but that I am secure with myself, and that is why I don’t make a big deal about it. If she asks about it, or it comes up, I mention it, and maybe joke about it a little bit.

Her: “You read comics?”

Me: “Yeah, I love all that geeky shit”

~or~

Her: “How many GI Joe figures do you have?”

Me: “Well, I have to have enough to recreate the assault on Cobra Island [with a smirk]”

The 2 things NOT to do

There are two things I don’t do, and that is to try to downplay it or explain it. Both of these responses display a little bit of insecurity about your habits and hobbies. The insecurity is far less attractive than liking comic books and GI Joe ever could be.

When someone downplays something they will try to excuse it, or make it seem like an accident. They might say something like, “oh, that’s just some old junk”, or I tried it out, but I don’t really like it that much” or something like that. Don’t downplay your habits.

The other response that shows some insecurity is to try to explain it. If a woman asks me about my comic book hobby, and I were to try to explain to her that comics have really matured and that there is a lot of really good stuff out there and it’s not all just kid’s superhero stuff, then I would be trying to make excuses or explain it.

This is just a way of being defensive about something, and defensive behavior is almost always insecure behavior.

If you like something that is pretty dorky, or have a collection of the geekiest thing imaginable, be secure about it, and drop the need to defend, explain, or downplay it.

What if she doesn’t give up on it?

Often times, just being comfortable with your loves and hobbies will be enough for a woman to be comfortable with it.

From time to time, a woman may push the point though, and really dig into you about it. They may challenge you, call the hobby immature, whatever. The trick in these situations is to banter. In particular, the two types of banter I would use would be to self-deprecate and to exaggerate on the point.

When I say self-deprecate, I mean to take what she is saying about you that may be thought of as lame or dorky, and make it worse. Take it to the next level of dorkiness, and describe yourself as that. Exaggeration does pretty much the same thing. Here are a couple of examples of what I mean.

Her: Why do you have that figure? [pointing to Cobra Commander]
Me: Oh, that’s Cobra Commander. He’s there as a reminder that I should be taking over the world.
~or~
Her: Wow, you are a dork!
Me: If you think this is bad, you should see my place when I have the Star Wars bed sheets on.
~or~
Her: You know these kinds of toys are for kids, right?
Me: Well, they were out of the special limited edition variant, so I had to get this one.

All in all, the point of all of this is that you should be secure with yourself, secure about what you like, and not let anybody throw you off of that.

In the next post I will talk about sharing your dorky habits with women, and whether you even should in the first place.

You are not your toys and your comics

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This is the second in a series of posts on Dating for Dorks. I admitted a lot of my geeky indulgences yesterday. I am a dork.

For the few years after I graduated college, I was kind of, well, depressed. I was dealing with the sudden realization that my life would be no more than what I made of it, and that was coupled with the pain of losing the love of my life.

I got into this funk, and a lot of how I spent my time was reading comics and watching anime. Not very cool.

I eventually got out of my funk, but a lot of my geeky habits stayed.

I learned that obsessing over these hobbies of mine would not really be the best of ways to meet women. I got this idea from the fact that my female friends would roll their eyes whenever I brought up comics, cartoons, or Gundam.

My love of comics is a part of who I am, and I am happy about that. I love comic books, and believe in it as a medium for entertainment, storytelling, and art. But that’s not all I am.

If you took away my comics, kept me from buying more, and stopped me from ever seeing my comic geek buddies, I would still be a full person, with plenty of varying hobbies and interests. While I do love comics, I do not let that define me.

I think that where some guys go wrong is that they let their geeky habit define them to the point that they seem obsessed with it. If your geeky hobby were completely taken away from you, would you be left with other things in your life to define you?

If you would still have a fun, fulfilling life, then no problem. You’re not a hard case. If, without these things, you have trouble figuring out what you’re all about, then I suggest taking a look at that. That is a sign that maybe you could fill up your life with more stuff other than your geeky hobbies.

I don’t want anyone to change who they are, particularly not so that they can meet women. What I do want is for us to grow, and become fuller people with richer lives.

I’m saying all of this based on an assumption. I’m gonna assume that you, being dorky like you are, aren’t interested in dating a woman who is as much of a geek as you. If you are looking for that, then go out and find it. Figure out where women that like what you like are, and go meet them.

If you have trouble talking about something that excites you in your life without talking about Blackest Night, or how the new Trek movie was a travesty to the former glorious Star Trek legacy, then I think you will have trouble talking to a woman who isn’t interested in these things.

Any man that wants to meet and date women that are not interested in the same geeky stuff may have some trouble relating to a non-geeky girl.

(On a side note, women have their own geeky stuff, it’s just called Sex In The City instead of Star Wars)

The first thing that you’ve gotta do when you’re a geek is to move beyond your geeky habits, and add more to your life so that your geekeries are just one part of an overall full life.



Coming up next: How, and when, to share your love for all things geek with women.

Does this sound like you?

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You’ve read The Lord Of The Rings more than once. You may even make it an annual tradition.

You have stacks of comic books laying around your apartment that you haven’t read or put away in your boxes yet. In fact, you are a top 20 poster (by number of posts) on an internet comic book discussion forum.

You have made a joke about someone wearing a red shirt, and how they probably won’t survive long.

You can name all 13 original members of the G.I. Joe team (without reference), and you know who the “14th” original Joe was, and who he was a reference to.

You have used “frakking” as a swear word.

THACO. You know it.

Of course you have seen Cowboy Bebop, in the original Japanese with subtitles, of course. None of that dub crap.

You have lost an entire night’s sleep due to Starcraft.

Transformers? Best toy ever.

You’ve thought about what you would do if the Zombie Apocalypse happens. You’ve got Mad Max contingencies too.

You have a batman action figure on top of your refrigerator.

You have painted Warhammer miniatures before. In fact, it is possible you painted an entire goblin warhammer army. Possibly.

Just being a few feet away from Leonard Nimoy was very exciting. Heck, even Brent Spiner was pretty cool.

You number of times you have seen the Star Wars movies is a 3 digit number. In fact, you camped out overnight to see Episode 1 at midnight the day it came out. Oh, and you own a few Star Wars t-shirts.

You have flown across the country to go to a comic book convention, and San Diego Comic-Con was a blast this year!

Who is this loser?

I am describing someone I know very well.

In fact, I’m describing me. Everything above describes me. No exaggeration.

I am, for all intents and purposes, a dork. My specialty within the geeky genres is comic books and Star Wars. I have about 3,000 comics in my closet, carefully stored away in plastic bags and boxes. My most prized book is my copy of Showcase 22, the first appearance of Green Lantern from 1959.

There was a time when I had read pretty much every Star Wars novel that had been released, and I once played Star Wars trivial pursuit, and you know how if you get the answer correct you get to keep going? Well, I won on my first turn.

If you want to discuss the merits vs. the weaknesses of Superman, you should sit down and get comfortable. This might take a while, and I may ask you to read Action Comics 775 to prove my point.

Who needs women when you have Trek?

Dorks are stereotyped as being pretty bad with women. It doesn’t matter what kind of dork you are: Comic geek, D&D nerd, Trekker, Star Wars dork, Otaku, or gamer, the stereotype is there, and often times fairly true.

I like all this geeky stuff, but I don’t let it get in the way of meeting and dating women.

I have never hid any of my geekeries from women (except Warhammer), in fact the huge pile of longboxes that hold all my comics has been pretty hard to ignore. This has never made a woman decide to leave my bedroom though.

I got the full 3 day pass to Wondercon this year, San Francisco’s biggest comic book convention, but I also met a woman out at the bar after the convention with all my geeky comic nerd friends, took her home that night, and dated her for a while. Yes, she knew I was going to the convention all weekend.

This week’s theme is dating for dorks.

I have read about folks that have dated a woman for years without telling her that he collects comics, out of a fear of how she will react.

Some dorks will not let their freak flag fly, or just resign themselves to believing that no woman could love them because of their nerdy indulgances.

You don’t have to give up on your beloved comics, or movies, or games. You can date fantastic women too. The two aren’t mutually exclusive.

All week I’m gonna have posts about how to have your cake, and eat it too.

Because after all, there will be cake.

And this cake is not a lie.

How a homemade cheesecake gives me 0.3 more points on the attractiveness scale

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I made a cheesecake two nights ago. It was chilling for a day, and I finally got to eat some last night.

It was… delicious.

Yes, I know, this does not seem like the manliest of things to do, but I think it is OK since cheesecake is pretty awesome. Knowing how to cook a cheesecake will pay itself back over the years because I will be able to make a lot of cheesecakes and eat them.

In general, cooking is a pretty awesome thing to know how to do.

In specific, cooking is a pretty awesome thing to do for a lady. At your home.

Women always seem to be surprised when they find out that I can cook. They are even more surprised when they find out that I can cook better than them.

I’ve been teaching myself how to cook random dishes recently. I have developed a reasonably amazing chili recipe, and recently whipped out chile verde, lasagne, baked chicken, and now cheesecake.

Cooking is a valuable skill, fun, and attractive.

One of my favorite dates is to invite a cjick over and cook for her. I will ask her to pick up a bottle of wine on her way, and let the night unfold.

Here’s a couple guidelines I follow:

  • Make sure you know what exactly she can help with, and know when she will be able to help.
  • If you need or want something to add to the meal, let her know, so she can get it for you and bring it!
  • If you are cutting up a lot of chili peppers, wear gloves so you don’t get chili oil all over your (and her) hands.
  • Make sure your kitchen is clean!

Cooking is one of those things that you should get to after getting your basics down. If you need to be getting in shape, better dressed, more outgoing, more friendly, etc., don’t spend your time learning to cook.

If you’ve got all those basic things down though, learn to cook. Cook stuff you like. Share with women. Wash, rinse, repeat.

How Do You Thinslice?

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A conversation came up amongst some folks online about spiky hair. I was of the view that spiky hair is only appropriate if you are punk rock and/or Japanese. I am not Japanese, and my punk rock days are largely a thing of the past, so spiky hair is not for me.

My friend Whim replied to this conversation with the following:

Spiky hair is awesome. Especially if you’re Asian.

I’m yet to find a better thinslice that works for me.

Gotta love it when girls at McCarran come up to you screaming “heeeeyy!!!! We know you!!!!”

This thinslice works for him.

When I read this, a little lightbulb went off in my head. I thought this was a pretty brilliant idea, applying thinslicing to yourself.

For those of you that don’t know, thinslicing is an idea in Malcolm Gladwell’s book Blink. In this book, Malcolm Gladwell discussed how we make split second decisions. We determine a lot about people, things, and situations within the time of a blink of the eye.

Applying this to ourselves, people make split second decisions about us based on how we look, what we are doing, and how we present ourselves. It incorporates everything about us: our clothes, our facial expression, attitude, how we move, and even our hair. This is even simpler than a first impression, it is more like a micro-impression. It is the impression we get before the first impression.

Men thin slice all the time. She’s hot. She looks mean. She’s an ice queen. She looks nice. Without even talking to her, we have an idea in our mind of all sorts of things about her.

Take a minute to apply thinslicing to yourself. How do you thinslice? What do people think about you based on how you are dressed? How you stand? How you talk? Your facial expressions? People are always determining something about you based on these.

Further, what can you do that will lead to a particularly good thinslice? Whim is using something very obvious about him, his hair, to get a particular association and reaction from women. What kind of things do you want women to immediately think about you, and what can you do to create that? It’s good food for thought. Make sure you are thinsliced well.

If you want to read more about thinslicing and how it works, I recommend Malcolm Gladwell’s book. I read through it in a breeze, and really enjoyed it. It is a quick read, yet packed with really interesting information.

Click here to look at Blink on Amazon.com

Also, you can find Whim’s website at adventuresofwhim.com. He is a great guy, and very successful with the ladies. Good stuff there.

Thoughts On Peacocking

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Peacocks strut their stuff, and attract mates with their flashy, showy plumage.

Men can do the same thing. There are some schools of thought that say you should wear loud outrageous clothing and/or accessories when you go out to meet women, that it shows confidence and is attractive.

Here’s a couple things to keep in mind about this:

In theory, peacocking gear gives the girl a reason to open you. If you are wearing a funky this-or-that and a girl wants to talk to you, she can comment on it and safely open you. That’s one approach to this. In this case, find something that works for you. I wear a leather jacket with metal studs on the lapel, girls open me by commenting on it or touching it a lot. Same thing when I used to wear a steel chain as a necklace with a padlock (R.I.P. Sid Vicious). If this is the angle you are going for, find somethign that fits you, and who you are. I can wear that shit because I was a punk rock muthufucka back in the day.

The other thing to keep in mind, peacocking is mean to show confidence by wearing loud, flashy clothing. The wilder and louder, the more confidence and social savvy you have to have. One time I saw a guy wearing big old aviator shades and a loud tie in a club, and he was just resting against the wall, trying to look hardcore. In reality, he looked like someone that was trying to dress up for the night, but couldn’t really pull it off. When you wear loud, flashy clothing, people will expect you to be just as loud and social of a guy. If you’re not, it’s incongruent, and end up looking like a tool. This is just another thing to keep in mind. Your peacocking has to match your social gregariousness.

Project Deacon: Liquor In The Front

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OK guys, what do you have to offer me to drink?

I want to come up, I want to have a drink. What do you got?

Don’t tell me, “some old milk, bud lite and some water”.

I don’t have a huge liquor cabinet, but I got enough. Wanna finish the night with a beer? Done.

How about a glass of wine with some crackers and cheese. Check.

Wanna do some shots? Check. (bonus points if they are shots of bourbon)

How about a mixed drink. Nice vodka and mixers, check.

Something without alcohol? Some fizzy water? Cranberry juice? Double check plus.

Keep yourself stocked with good stuff to offer someone when they come over. Not only is it just the polite thing to do, it is classy. It shows you put some thought into it.

Get yourself some stufff. Here’s what I suggest at the minimum:

  • Nice bottle of Wine. Have wine glasses to serve this in.
  • Some good hoers… hore’s du… hor… snacks. have some good snacks on hand. Go to Trader Joe’s or your equivalent and stock up for a few bucks.
  • Beer. I only put this on because I like to drink beer. This brings up an important point. Have stuff you like.
  • Hard alcohol. A good bottle of vodka and taquila are the minimum. After that, I would suggest adding a cou[ple bottles of bourbon :)
  • Mixers. Cranberry, red bull (diet), rockstar (diet), tonic water at a minimum.
  • Ice. The silliest thing to not have when you want to make a drink for someone.

Having this stuff on hand is one of the minor things to get together, but it can have a nice effect on how you are perceived by your guests.

Tony Stark, Alcoholic Oh, I also keep my copy of Iron Man #128 by my liquor in a rigid plastic case. Best Iron man comic. Ever. Iron Man faces the fact that he is an alcoholic. It reminds me not to drink too much. Awesome cover by Bob Layton.

NOTE: I do not endorse keeping comics out all over your home.

Really.

No. really.

…

…

…

…

Fine. Don’t take my word for this one.

…

Project Deacon: New Bed For A New Man

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The first big furniture purchase for Project Deacon was a new bed. My old bed was a full size with a squeaky metal bed frame, old sheets and blankets. This had to go.

I bought a California King. 600 thread count sheets (to start), numerous pillows, and a nice wooden bed frame.

I wanted a bed that I would be happy to get into every night. Mission accomplished.

I wanted a bed that women want to get into every night, and stay in every morning. According to my girlfriend, mission accomplished.

I wanted a bed I could sleep sideways on and still have enough room. Mission accomplished.

Beds are expensive. Not every one can go out and drop a few grand on a new bed at the drop of a hat. If you are going to buy anything to improve your living space, my first recommendation would be a nice bed. Save if you have to. This is going to be far more important than a new table, couch, chairs, or big screen TV.

The benefit to your life is huge though. You spend about a third of your life in a bed, and will have a lot of fun in your bed. Make it count. I can’t stress enough the importance of a great bed.

Do you want to live in a space that is great in spite of your bed, or one in which your bed makes your space even better?

A modern man, successful with women, will have a great bed.

Here are my guidelines for getting a new bed:

  • Get a mattress larger than you think you can fit in your room. It’s worth the sacrificed space to have a big bed. Nobody ever thinks to themselves, “I wish I had gotten a smaller bed”. Get a King Size if you can.
  • Get high thread count sheets. I got two sets of 600 thread count sheets to start, and am looking to upgrade to 1000 thread count sheets when I can. The higher the thread count, the better the sheets will feel.
  • Get a lot of pillows with varying firmness. Good for comfort and pillow fights.
  • Take some time to match everything, and pick a scheme that goes with your room. I spent longer shopping for sheets and a comforter cover than I did for my bed. I wanted to pick colors that I liked, that I wanted to have in my room, and would go with future rugs, curtains, furnture, etc.
  • Get a wooden bed frame, not metal. It looks nicer and is less squeaky. I got mine for half off when I bought my bed. You can find bargains.

Shoes Make The Man

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In my interview with The Pickup Podcast guys, they asked for a fashion tip, and I mentioned shoes. I got a comment on my last post asking for more info. So here it is. I can go on and on about why shoes are important, but I just want to get to the nitty gritty right away.

So what shoes do I buy? I like Kenneth Coles. I own 3 pairs. 2 are basic dress shoes in black and brown. Another is a more stylish brown loafer. Kenneth Cole makes quality shoes that are comfortable and stylish. They are a good staple.

I have a couple other pairs of nicer shoes that are cool or funky in some way.

For more casual shoes, I like Pumas. I have a few pairs of things that are more stylish, like a pair of Diesels and a pair of HipOppotamus (similar to Diesel).

Remember to take care of your shoes. Keep them polished, and make them last.

A few rules I follow when picking out shoes:

1) Brown shoes are always more stylish than black shoes.

2) Don’t skimp on shoes. $175 isn’t too much to spend for a high quality shoe that is comfortable and stylish. Plus, you’ll feel great walking around in a great pair of shoes.

3) Get a selection. Don’t buy three pairs of black shoes. Get one pair of black, a pair of brown, and a pair of a lighter color (cream, tan, etc). This is much more versatile.

4) Make sure they are comfortable. If a shoe isn’t immediately comfortable when you put your foot in, don’t buy it. I don’t care if they are the perfect shoes that were sent down on a cloud from heaven. I’ve learned this lesson the hard (and painful) way. Also, if two shoes seem really similar, but one is a bit more expensive but more comfortable, spend the extra for the comfortable ones. Your feet will thank you.

…and, since summer is coming,

5) Don’t ever buy sandals. Flip-flop sandals are OK, but those Teva style sandals have to go.

 

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