I realized something about banter during the last Art of Attraction Workshop. It came together after hearing something that Lance said when he was introducing the idea of banter to the group. He said (and I paraphrase) that banter is essentially role-playing. The banter line just establishes a role for the two of you that you can then act out in a playful way. If you look at banter in this way, it lends itself to banter INTERACTIONS, rather than the use of banter LINES.
For example, when you call a girl a brat, you are using a banter line. If you assume the role that she is a bratty little sister and you are the cool older brother, then you can go on to say something like, “you are gonna totally get sent to your room for acting up. And you have to DENY it when all your friends call you up and tell you they think I am cute, OK? I don’t want to be kept up all night hearing your giggles, ok?”
The “classic” banter lines are great, but they are just that, one-liners. You can say “I don’t know who your boyfriend is, but he is not spanking you enough”, but where do you go from there? What if you assume that you are now a love doctor, and she is a love patient in need of treatment? That sounds pretty fun to me.
Sometimes I will find something in the situation, or something a girl says, and then I will assume a role for her. I then assume a role for myself in relation to that role, and act out those roles.
At the last AoA workshop, I ran into a girl that I had met a few weeks earlier. We had been emailing since then, joking about switching jobs, because she had a bad week at work. When I saw her, I told her I had a new job if she still wanted to switch, that I was a go-go dancer. The role set up was now “we are go-go dancers”. I asked her what kind of cage she liked to dance in. I told her I got new knee high boots with fur around the top and she better have something cooler than that if she ever wants to be a better go-go dancer than me.
I think most people can see how banter interactions are better than banter lines. If you deliver a banter line, you are just some guy with a funny line. If you can start role-playing, you can have a much more fun and playful interaction. Some of you may have seen Sean Newman go on after a line like “I am just here to flirt with you”. He can keep going and going off of that idea. What he has done here is set up the role that he is an expert flirting teacher, and the girl is a cute student who needs to learn how to flirt. He riffs and riffs off of those assumed roles, and the result is a funny and charming interaction.
I see the PickUp 101 coaches do this all the time. They throw out a line, and keep riffing off of it. What makes it easy to riff off of this is the assumed role-play BEHIND the banter line. Consciously or not, they are playing a certain role, and treating the girl like she has some complementary role, and going from there.
Here’s another personal example I have used:
“You are so cute. I just want to take you home with me. You know what we are gonna do? We are gonna make forts out of the couches with the pillows and blankets, and we are gonna play house, and we are gonna watch cartoons, and then mom is gonna bring us some ovaltine, and we’re gonna crawl inside our fort to drink our hot ovaltine, and then we’re gonna watch cartoons all morning.” The role here is that we are cute little kids together, that we are gonna have a bunch of innocent childish fun together (ever play doctor when you are a kid?).
I have used these examples when flirting with girls. The usual result is giant smiles and laughter.
What I hope that some of you guys will get out of this is how to take banter LINES, and turn them into banter INTERACTIONS.
You can take an existing banter line, assume some roles between the two of you, and then deliver it from that perspective. If you open some girls and spit out, “I really like it here, I am so well lit!” That can be funny, but where do you go? Assume the role that she is an artist, and you are the art!
“My god, I should be a sculpture! Are you good at art? Listen, if my cute adorable smile is going to be captured for eternity as a statue, I need a VERY GOOD artist to get it just right. I need that creative flare that I know is hiding behind that big smile you have on your face.”
After that, smile, tickle, then drop into some deep rapport, find something unique and special about her that isn’t obvious, and fall just a touch in love.