It was half a year before anything happened. I met a girl, she was a friend of a friend. We all went out one night, had a good old time. I was interested in her. I got her number through my friend, and called her up. We went out on the fourth of July.I was nervous. I didn’t know if this was a date, or if she thought it was a date. I didn’t know if I should dress nice, or casual. I didn’t know what to say to impress her, and I didn’t know what to say to make her like me. I was uncomfortable, but I did my best to not show it. We walked the Embarcadero and watched some fireworks. I offered to walk her home, even though it was out of my way. She politely declined. I got a polite hug from her at the end of the evening.I asked her out for drinks a few days later before I left on a two week vacation. She politely declined. I really wanted this girl to like me, but she didn’t.
So I left on my vacation. I went to Washington, DC for a friend’s wedding. It was a party. All my friends from college were there. We stumbled back to the hotel late one night after my friend’s bachelor party. We ran into a couple of the bride-to-be’s cousins. They had drink with us in the room before heading on their merry way. One of them in particular, Anna, was simply stunning.
I ran into those two cousins the next morning at the IHOP across from the hotel. They didn’t have plans for the day, and neither did I. Most everyone else had wedding planning stuff to do, so I asked the two cousins to go with me into DC and check out the sites. We hopped on the railway, and headed into town.
I was talking to Anna, and I remember thinking to myself, “If I act like I like her, I’m going to screw it up”.
So I didn’t act like I liked her. I treated her as a friend, got to know her, had fun with her, made fun of her, and joked around with her. The more I got to know her, the more gorgeous, vivacious, and sexy she was. I completely fell in love with her. When she held my hand and whispered into my ear, it would send a shiver down my spine. In the end it never worked out for a couple reasons, but the experience was pivotal.
When I sat back and looked at my expereince with these two girls, I just didn’t get it. I met two girls I liked within a couple weeks of each other. One of them I tried to make like me, and she just wasn’t interested. The other I didn’t do anything to make like me, and we were just drawn together.
This reflected a larger pattern in my relations with women. For the most part, the ones that I liked, weren’t interested in me. The ones that I didn’t like at all, and didn’t care for, were really into me.
This was frustrating. I just didn’t get it.