It's Not Easy Being Mean (And So Can You!)

I have been accused of being mean a few times recently.

I probably deserved it too 😉

Sometimes I really can’t help but to tease girls. They beg for mercy, but I have none. I am a dark, vengeful figure of flirtation.

Melodrama aside, you may have run into this. You are talking to a girl, having a flirtatious conversation, she is laughing, you are laughing, so you know, at the very least, she doesn’t hate you.

All of a sudden, she sticks out her finger, and accuses you of being mean.

Maybe she plays it up by looking hurt. Maybe she has a scornful look.

Are you going to break? Are you going to reassure her that you aren’t mean? You could tell her, “no, I’m a nice guy! I didn’t mean it!”

. . .

Remember, it’s not easy being mean.

I own my meanness. My meanitude.

I’m mean. I’m a mean machine.

But I’m nice and fun too!

Last weekend, when a girl told me I was mean, I looked at her, smiled, and said, “I know, but it’s so much fun.” She laughed, I laughed, and we moved on.

I don’t deny it, I have fun with it. I’m not really mean. I don’t say hurtful, spiteful things inspired by anger. If that is what mean means to you, then read this. If mean means having fun and teasing girls, and taking playful jabs at them, then by all means, have fun with this, and don’t deny it.

When you get accused, step up, and ask if there is an award, or tell her you learned from the best, or that you teach classes on the subject. Tell her it is part of your subtle charm. Just don’t deny it.

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    3 thoughts on “It's Not Easy Being Mean (And So Can You!)

    1. David Clare

      Definitely, you gotta own it.

      The next step is understanding that when a women accuses you of being mean, you just scored a direct hit on something she is emotionally sensitive about.

      By laughing it off, you allow her to dissipate her insecurity: since you aren’t worried about it, she isn’t either.

      Being self-defensive (“I’m not mean!”) a man invalidates her emotions, which turns her insecurity into anger. Men that can’t handle a woman’s insecurity are typically much less capable of handling a woman’s anger… things get ugly fast, as I also know all too well.

      Excellent post!

    2. sean

      Good insight, David.

      A lot of these things, you see, I know THAT they work, David can explain WHY they work.

    3. Pingback: Nice guys are manipulative bastards | Sean Deacon

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