Decision '09!

No Goals in 2009!

Goals are awful.  Bad, bad, bad!

I think that New Years resolutions only exist to boost gym membership and anti-smoking patch sales every January.

New Years resolutions get broken.  Period.  Sure, the random person may stick to it, but chances are, you won’t.

It’s not your fault, either.  It really isn’t.  We don’t get taught how to make changes, we get taught how to stay the same.

If you wanted to stay the same, you wouldn’t be reading my blog.  After all, I write this so you will change.  I want you to change, at least, if you want to.

So no new years resolutions, ok?

OK.

Instead, make decisions.  Let’s make some new years decisions.  I’ve made some decisions.  I’ve decided to stop smoking.  I’ve decided to be in shape before I turn 30 (6 months away).  I’ve decided to pursue some business oppurtunities, and create some business opportunities.

Now, these are pretty vague decisions, and the actual decision is much more exact and specific.  I have decided to not smoke any cigarettes in 2009.  I have decided to stretch and exercise every morning.  I’ve got some specifics about my business, but I’m gonna keep those private for now 😉

There is a difference between making a resolution and making a decision.  A resolution is nice, a decision is final.  We are men, when we decide to do something, we tend to do it.

It is important when setting any sorts of goals. or making any sorts of decisions, to focus on the actions, not the result (I think this is well known by now, but if you want me to explain why this is so important, let me know).

For instance, a BAD goal is “I want to lose 15 pounds”.  A GOOD decision is “I will jog three times a week and not eat any refined starches and sugars”.

A BAD goal is “I want a new girlfriend”.  A GOOD decision is “I will talk to and meet a new woman every day”.

A BAD goal is “I want to make more money”.  A GOOD decision is “I will write on my blog at least once a week”.

I think you are seeing the pattern.

If you are still thinking about New Years decisions, and want to discuss your goals and how to achieve them, write about it as a comment to this post below.  I will respond to all comments about setting goals, and offer advice on coaching about how to define and implement them.  Have you ever wondered what personal coaching is like?  You can get a taste of it in the comment section below.

Happy New Year, I have decided to do that which will make this a satisfying and fun year.  Come on and join me.

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    5 thoughts on “Decision '09!

    1. Maximus

      Hey man…a very subtle but great insight! All change happens at the moment of decison. In fact the word decision comes from the latin word meaning “to cut.” For example when you decide to quit smoking you cut that behhavior off. None of this “I’m going to cut back” bullshit.

      Alot of self help teaches one to set goals but this is better. My goals are so big and require so much work that focusing on that far off success actually discourages me. For example handstand pushups are hard and for me require a lot of “remedial” excercses to build up to. When I think in terms of having the copmpleted excercise I lose resolve and don’t progress. Better for me to make a decision to do and enjoy those remedial excercise like normal pushups and dips and periodically try for the HS as a benchmark of my progress.

      I’ll probably have a question at some point but for now I am going to let your insight percolate as I go through my day and lay out the week ahead.

      Thanks!

    2. sean

      You bring up a really good point, Max, which is that sometimes goals can seem too big. Big, huge goals are GOOD, but they can stop us in our tracks, paralyzing us with the heft of the task to perform. I am struggling with that with a business idea I have, it seems like such a huge task to get it up and running. What I need to do is to break it down into smaller pieces.

      I prefer to think of the big goals as VISIONS rather than goals. It is a vision of where I want to be, or what I want to achieve, but the goals are the smaller chunks, they are one length of a switch back while working up the mountain. The goal, or the desired output, should inform the decision that you make.

      For some things, it is obvious what steps to take to achieve the goal. If you wanted to be a master chef, for instance, your decisions should be to get good knives and cookware, and get a book or take a class about cooking. You can then proceed from there.

      The steps to take if you want to improve your dating life, or your relationship with a woman, are not always so obvious. I hope that I can help you folks figure out what might be the right approach in this thread.

    3. Anonymous

      I am afraid I have to disagree.

      New Year’s Resolutions are awesome!

      I did one last year for fitness and I’m so glad I did it.

      It’s about the action plan. People dont seem to write action plans or have support groups. Thats why they dont follow their resolutions.

    4. Erik C

      I just posted up my goals too, although mine are quite vague, I’ll have to do a bit better refining them. Sorry for cutting out on Saturday night, I got too drunk and had to go home and cry… My bad.

      It was great hanging out with you though, we’ll have to do it again and I’ll have to not turn in to a drunk train wreak :)

    5. sean

      Eric, it is always gonna turn into a drunk trainwreck when we hang out. It’s just the way it is.

      It’s all good, though. I got one of the chicks from the bachelorette party’s number, and now I am probably gonna flake on her. Always an ego boost for me :)

      Everyone else, I totally recommend Eric’s blog at: http://ecsobsession.blogspot.com/

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