Shoes Make The Man

In my interview with The Pickup Podcast guys, they asked for a fashion tip, and I mentioned shoes. I got a comment on my last post asking for more info. So here it is. I can go on and on about why shoes are important, but I just want to get to the nitty gritty right away.

So what shoes do I buy? I like Kenneth Coles. I own 3 pairs. 2 are basic dress shoes in black and brown. Another is a more stylish brown loafer. Kenneth Cole makes quality shoes that are comfortable and stylish. They are a good staple.

I have a couple other pairs of nicer shoes that are cool or funky in some way.

For more casual shoes, I like Pumas. I have a few pairs of things that are more stylish, like a pair of Diesels and a pair of HipOppotamus (similar to Diesel).

Remember to take care of your shoes. Keep them polished, and make them last.

A few rules I follow when picking out shoes:

1) Brown shoes are always more stylish than black shoes.

2) Don’t skimp on shoes. $175 isn’t too much to spend for a high quality shoe that is comfortable and stylish. Plus, you’ll feel great walking around in a great pair of shoes.

3) Get a selection. Don’t buy three pairs of black shoes. Get one pair of black, a pair of brown, and a pair of a lighter color (cream, tan, etc). This is much more versatile.

4) Make sure they are comfortable. If a shoe isn’t immediately comfortable when you put your foot in, don’t buy it. I don’t care if they are the perfect shoes that were sent down on a cloud from heaven. I’ve learned this lesson the hard (and painful) way. Also, if two shoes seem really similar, but one is a bit more expensive but more comfortable, spend the extra for the comfortable ones. Your feet will thank you.

…and, since summer is coming,

5) Don’t ever buy sandals. Flip-flop sandals are OK, but those Teva style sandals have to go.


If you really want to get your style in gear, check out PickUp 101’s guide to style, Dress to Impress. It is a 3 DVD set that goes into detail about fashion and style and how to make it work for you. The DVD set goes into detail about how to use style to help give a great impression to women. It also includes real world fashion make overs of men that attended the filming of the set. Click here to check it out now.

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    6 thoughts on “Shoes Make The Man

    1. Sandwich Repairman

      What do you do if all dress shoes KILL your feet–if you have to choose between EITHER comfort OR style? I’ve found this to be the case after spending several hundred dollars on shoes I can’t wear. Do these shoes work with orthotics, clawed toes, and pronated feet with screws in them? I have never heard of Diesel or Hippopotamus shoes. Where would I find those? I suppose there are rules for what socks should be worn with different shoes too?

    2. sean

      Unfortunately, I don’t know anything about these circumstances. You will have to do a little research on your own. There must be some way to get both comfort and style in this situation.

      As for socks, in general, white socks should only be paired with running/gym shoes. Get socks that match the outfit.

    3. Sandwich Repairman

      I really don’t have the money to keep buying shoes I can’t wear. The fact is that comfort and style are mutually exclusive for many of us who are a little different. And a woman who would judge a man based on what shoes he wears would have to be very superficial–not one you’re going to make any meaningful connection with in the first place.

      I don’t wear outfits, nor would I have any idea what socks would or would not match them. Seems to me all this advice can only truly apply to people with fairly high incomes; many of us could never afford to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on clothes to impress superficial women.

    4. sean


      I can hear the frustration through your writing. I can relate a bit. I am a big guy, and it ISN’T all muscle. I have a good 30+ pounds I could lose. It takes work to find clothes that are flattering on me.

      For your situation, I really can’t help with advice about where to find shoes. You are more of an expert on this than me. What I really would suggest though, is keep looking. I think that there has to be some place where you can find a shoe that is both comfortable AND stylish, given your needs. It will probably be off of the beaten track. I don’t think you will find this at Macy’s, but it probably can be found.

      As for “outfits”, maybe I implied more than I mean. You are wearing an outfit right now. So am I. All I meant by outfit was what you choose to wear.

      Having a decent wardrobe doesn’t have to really break the bank. There are ways to get great stuff for not so much money. Try on a couple pairs of nice jeans at a department store, find out what style and size you like and fits you, then buy them on eBay, or another discount clothing place. They are all over the ‘net. By no means do I suggest wearing Armani and Versace, but also don’t dress like a scrub.

      The clothing you wear is part of the first impression you make. You just want to make sure that impression is the one you want to be giving. That doesn’t necessarily mean tons of money, but it can mean thought and effort.

    5. Sandwich Repairman

      Hi Sean, thanks for empathizing with me. You actually sound genuine in doing so. But it’s well beyond frustration with me. It’s despair, rage, disillusionment, bitterness, jealousy, and alienation. If not worse. I’m 30 and have never been able to form a romantic relationship–a fact which used to drive me to the brink of violence many times. And I’m an extremely non-violent pacifist, having been abused as a child myself. (I know you’re thinking I should be in therapy now–I have been on and off for 11 years, and made mountains of progress, but I can’t afford to right now because I lack health insurance. I’m working at a job solely to get it, but I have to wait 3 months, at which point it’s a bloody HMO which may well refuse to pay for my psychologist–it was much easier in Canada where medical coverage comes with being a human being.)

      I’ve already spent a lot of effort going back to shoe stores dozens of times (the guys at Nordstrom’s in DC know me) trying to get it right, only to end up holding the bag, and a large credit card bill. I have little fashion sense, and no idea where I’d get it. On top of my belief that clothes and first impressions don’t and shouldn’t really matter. I get horny for girls in tank tops, shorts, sweatshirts and jeans…sure, certain clothes can bring out certain things more, but everyone is as attractive as they are. You can’t put lipstick on a pig, or mud on a goddess. And appearance matters more to men looking at women than women looking at men. What use do I have for a woman who’s interested in me only because I wear the “right” conformist clothes? I want a girl who likes/loves me for who I am as a person.

      Check out this draft article I wrote summarizing the current dating situation:

      How Dating Works

      It’s not ok for men NOT to ask women out in our culture. A guy who doesn’t ask girls out doesn’t get dates, despite all the women (and it’s only women) who tell me and other men to just stop looking for love/dates and asking people out and the “right person” will magically find us. I tried it for 3 years and had 0 dates. I did a study in college and found that despite proclaiming to have egalitarian attitudes, 70% of the asking for first dates is still done by men.

      Women have the luxury of dating without asking men out–shy women can date, unlike shy men. Then they lead you on rather than just saying no, frequently lie to you, or ignore you altogether, and call you rude for pointing out their doing this or even trying to hold them accountable for it. Ask out the wrong way and you’re a loser or dork or some such thing, ask out too weakly and you’re a wimp, ask out too aggressively and you’re a stalker or sexual harrasser or predator. Rather than actually ask a guy out, women passive-aggressively give “flirting cues”–which you’re dense if you miss since you can’t read their minds, or arrogant if you do perceive them but they’re not really there (or the girl changes her mind, or most likely, just wants to prove to herself and/or others that she’s attractive and can get male attention while having no interest in you at all).

      Then women turn around and say that whoever asks for a date should pay for it, and any guy who wants to split it is a cheap asshole, knowing full well that this is the exact same thing as saying men should pay for dates and women should be paid for on dates–who pays should be determined solely by genitalia, even though mountains of evidence show that men asking and paying exclusively for dates is positively correlated with rape. And never mind the “biology is destiny” argument this constitutes, and the fact that debunking such arguments is a fundamental tenet of feminism.

      If you manage to get past all that, the man has to initiate each new level of physical intimacy, because god forbid a woman do it herself! If you do it too late, you’re branded a loser and the girl leaves. If you do it too soon, you’re presumptuous and selfish and probably some kind of sexual deviant, so you scare her off.

      After all that, women mercilessly mock and taunt men who can’t get dates or sex, turning them into monstrous pariahs, and act shocked and horrified that any man would pay for sex (since it’s the only way to get it for many men, except that virtually none of them will admit it–how do you think all those sex workers are staying in business??) or have a sex drive and are attracted to women, noticing them on the street for example (again, just like every man on the planet, except that virtually none will admit it to a female). If you can’t get a date or seek advice, they’ll find everything possible wrong with you and your actions in relation to dating, despite the fact that lots of other men share the same characteristics and do the same things but are able to date–the bottom line being that your actions or dating tactics don’t matter at all–people just like “winners” (those who manage to get dates and have sex and romantic relationships) and disdain those of us with no access to dates, sex, or romantic relationships; none of it having anything to do with personal characteristics or what actions we take.

      In the end, it doesn’t really matter what you do, because the truth is that women control the whole situation from start to finish. I’d turn gay or female in a minute if I could, but I can’t. The truth is that men are extraneous anymore, unneeded for financial or reproductive reasons, and women don’t want kind, sweet, caring, sensitive, thoughtful, short, smart, funny, introverted, feminist, non-drinking men. That’s why I became disillusioned after years of volunteer and professional work as a feminst activist. Women aren’t after sexual or any other kind of equality; just self-interest. If that’s matriarchy, or necessitates hedonism or hypocrisy, then that’s just dandy with them. You can’t help people who don’t want to be helped.

      I’ve asked out dozens if not hundreds of women for every time one has ever asked me out. I’m 30 and have never had a girlfriend, and no one can figure out why. Because there is no good reason why. But there are lots of bad reasons, and that’s all we have. When when your female friends whine “Where are all the nice guys?”, tell them they all turned into the kind of guys who actually get dates and sex.

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