Monthly Archives: December 2006

I Bet On My Students

Last night I was at a favorite Wednesday hotspot with K and fellow instructor Walter. K works in the Pickup 101 office, and he has been through our workshops. In fact, he was my student on the second night of his Art of Attraction workshop. This was the night that he got lap dances from a group of 10 women. Suffice to say, the boy knows what he is doing.

So we were having a hang out night, just chatting and flirting with the occasional group of girls. We all go out so that K and I can smoke a cigarette, and he asks me and Walter, “so what do you do when a girl is on her phone?” We look over, and there is a cute asian girl on the phone 10 or 15 feet away from us. So we tell him.

He is reluctant to proceed with the directions we gave him. She gets off the phone, and his opportunity is presenting itself. Still he doesn’t go. This is when I grabbed him, and literally pushed him into a conversation with her. She looks up, alarmed, staring at us. I tell her, “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to alarm you”, and I left to hang with Walter, leaving K to start a conversation. I leave as he is saying, “My friend wanted me to come tell you that…”

I found out after the fact that what he said was, “My friend wanted me to come tell you that you are really cute. Actually… it was ME that wanted to tell you that.” I imagine that this was just about the time that she erupted in smiles and giggles. They were talking for a few minutes when I saw the hands. You can tell a lot about how two people feel about each other by the way their hands touch. She high fived him, and their hands stayed together, and their fingers lingered across each others as their hands parted.

It was on.

At this time, Walter said something along the lines that he didn’t think it was going anywhere. I called BS, so we made a friendly bet. I bet Walter that he would get her phone number. Loser had to buy the other a drink next Wednesday. I’ll take that bet. I know what I saw. Besides, he was MY student. I believed in him.

After a few minutes of flirting, he came back. Without her number. I told him to get his @ss over there and GET HER NUMBER. He walked back over, flirted a little more, his phone is out…

He walks back to us five minutes later, and he is saying, “OK, I’ll call you…” as he is leaving. He got the number.

I got my drink.

Life is good.

As for me, yes, I flirted with the two cutest blondes I saw that night. Good wholesome fun :)

Some Interesting New Facts

According to a list of 50 Things We Know Now (That We Didn’t Know This Time Last Year), “middle-aged and elderly men tend to be more satisfied with their sex lives than women in the same age group” (Number 28).  For all you cougar hunters out there, go make women happy.

Also, “30 minutes of continuous kissing can diminish the body’s allergic reaction to pollen, relaxing the body and reducing production of histamine, a chemical cell given out in response to allergens” (number 32).  Now, men, go kiss your women!

Good With Women

Are you good with women?

Chances are that if you are reading this blog you either are good with women or are on your way to becoming good with women. Chances also are it was not always this way for you.

Last weekend, during PickUp 101’s flagship workshop, the Art of Rapport, I was working with a man who told me that for years of his life he was not good with women, and that he felt like 20 years of his life were working against him becoming this new person.

The interesting thing is, he IS good with women. The fact is, ANY man that goes through our Art of Attraction and Art of Rapport workshops is good with women. They just don’t always know it.

I really related with this guy. I remembered something I wrote about a year and a half ago on a local message board:

I have been wrestling with something internally lately, and if any of you have any comments, I would appreciate them. It is something that I think of as MAKING THE LEAP.

I was at El Rio last night. I almost didn’t come out cuz I knew I was in a weird mental state, but I forced myself for my mental health. I didn’t do any approaches, and I ended up heading home pretty early. It wasn’t approach anxiety stopping me, because that doesn’t stop me anymore. It wasn’t one-itis over either of the girls I’m working on right now, because that doesn’t stop me anymore either. It wasn’t lack of confidence either, because I have that when I need it.

I have the knowledge, and I have the confidence, and I have enough skill and charm to succeed, but I have a lot of trouble sometimes just letting go and BEING all this stuff.

What I am having trouble with is making the leap to adopting the identity of being successful with women, and being completely confident and congruent with this. I am having trouble being comfortable as a pick up artist.

Everything I have learned in the last year in the community has made a profound impact on me, but I am having trouble letting go of the old person I was and have been for the last umpteen years, and becoming the person I have the potential to be. This is the biggest thing holding me back from having the success I am capable of, but I haven’t quite been able to shake it.

Does this make sense? Has anyone had to make this kind of leap? How did you do it?

Or do I just need to say “f*ck it”, make the leap, and try to keep my feet running when I land?

As my student was explaining this feeling to me, I recalled how I used to feel.  Then, I had a flash. I told him that he was good with women. He kind of reluctantly agreed.

So I told him, “Tell me. Tell me you are good with women”

He kind of looked down, and said, “I am good with women”

“Tell me again!”

Same thing, he looked down, and said, “I am good with women”

“NO! Look into my eyes and tell me you are good with women”

He looked in my eyes, and flinched when he said, “I am good with women”

One last time I told him, “look in my eyes, don’t flinch, don’t look away, and tell me… that you are good with women”

He looked in my eyes and said, “I AM GOOD WITH WOMEN”

It was very powerful. By owning those words, I could tell that he was owning how it felt.

Find a friend, look into their eyes and tell them, “I AM GOOD WITH WOMEN.” You might surprise yourself.

Flirt Everywhere

(This one is for you, V)

It is important to be ready to flirt with anyone, anytime, anywhere. When I know that I am ready to flirt with a girl at a moments notice, I feel on top of the world. Electrified.

This is a little anecdote from last week. I was talking to one of my coaching clients, and I challenged him to approach a girl everyday with with the simple as syrup, “you’re cute”. I told him I would do it the next day too, so I headed out on my lunch break ready to flirt with some lucky woman.

After walking around, getting lunch, then walking around some more, I was getting disappointing, because I was really just not seeing any really cute women to flirt with.

Then I saw this adorable blonde in the Metreon. She was working at one of those little booths, selling a nail polish device or something. I walk up to her, she says, “Come here, I have something to show you”.

Immediately I replied, “You are way too cute to be selling me this. How about we just flirt together for the next few minutes?”

She giggled, I kept bantering, I vibed for a few minutes, but then she had to get back to work.

This interaction didn’t end up in a number, or a date, but that is OK. Flirting like that gets the blood flowing, gets your endorphins pumped, and makes you feel great.

Go out and flirt! Now!